Lies

We all live a sad complicated life.
When we were young, everything was simple.
I like you, you like me, lets be friends.
Friendship was liking the same things, playing
together everyday, going to the same school.
It was a rare thing to have backstabbing or bitching
or pretending you like that friend although you secretly
don't give a fuck.You could do the silliest thing on earth,
and no one could say mean stuff about you because afterall,
you are just a young child.

Then as we move on to the age where we notice the
opposite sex and is able to think in a more rational,
mature way, thats when everything started.
People could put on a facade, could say the most venemous
things about you-behind your back.It takes a sinfully long
time, and many repeated mistakes, to know who will leave
you, and who will stand by you till the end of time.You never
know, whether in your group of friends you're the black sheep,
or among everyone they think you cant fit in.This is the age
when you know what stress and true friendship is.

I dont know if im getting by on acquaintances and good friends
who arent that good afterall.

I think i just need to go on a hiatus to organise my head.

I dont like blogging anymore because whatever i blog, you like to make replies in your blog, which pisses me off even more that I get an even more splitting headache. You're probably gonna make another post in your blog after this to spite me and say stuff like " im sorry im the cause of your splitting headache".

I dont like blogging anymore because i cant express anything anymore.

I need a diary now.

People don't understand. When I was younger, I used to marvel and feel so blessed over the fact that I knew and had countless friends. But when I fast forward to the present, everything slowly dissipates to just me spending minutes, hours trying to figure out why I've been reduced to this state. self-pity. I've got so much things tumbling all over in my head, but they never come out nicely in a structured organised way. I dont understand why when I manage to let out a few thoughts and just talk about it, everyone just assumes and carelessly, hurtfully comment that I think too much. Arent people given the freedom, the right to think whatever they want and feel whatever they are feeling? I've been feeling smothered for so long, that even this feeling has numbed me, i dont even know why I feel this way. Thinking to me, is like breathing, just that well, maybe i breathe more than others. So when friends tell me like as if im doing something unorthodox, i feel frustrated. People don't understand. They can comfort you all they can, consoling that they know what you're going through, but what is it that you understand? What do you even know?

Never in my 16 years I've come across anyone.Anyone who could know without asking how I was feeling or exactly what I was feeling at that certain moment.

The meaning of time

To understand the meaning of one year,

ask a student who failed his exam

To understand the meaning of one month,

ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby

To understand the meaning of one week,
ask the editor of weekly magazine

To understand the meaning of one day,
ask a daily wage labour

To understand the meaning of one hour,
ask a girl who is waiting for her boyfriend

To understand the meaning of one minute,
ask a person who has missed the train

To understand the meaning of one second,
ask a person who survived the accident

To understand the meaning of one milli-second,
ask a sprinter who won a silver medal in the olympics

You Thought This Was Just A Site.

This is my vessel of raw true thoughts.
This is my consolation.
This is my confidante.
This is my memory.
This is my friend.
This is my reminder.
This is my life-lesson.
This is my anecdotes.
This is a part of me.
These words are heavy with meaning.

You never knew that whatever's on my mind could always be read between the lines,
could be found here.

My Favourite Part of Little Prince

From The Book, 'The Little Prince'.

Ah, little prince! So it was, gradually, that I came to understand your melncholy little life! For a long time your only pleasure had been to watch the gently setting sun. I learned this new detail on the morning of the fourth day, when you said to me:

"I am very fond of sunsets. Let's go this moment and look at a sunset."
"But we shall have to wait. . ."
"Wait for what?"
"Wait until it's time for the sun to set."

At first you seemed very taken aback. Then you laughed at yourself and said:
"I still keep thinking I'm at home!"
Just so. For as everyone knows, when it is noon in the United States the sun is setting over France. If you could get to France in a twinkling, you could watch a sunset right now. Unfortunately France is rather too far away. But on your tiny planet, little prince, you had only to move your chair a few steps. You could watch night fall whenever you liked.

"One day," you said, " I watched the sunset forty-three times!"
And a little later you added:
"You know, when one is that sad, one can get to love the sunset."

"Were you that sad, then, on the day of the forty-three sunsets?"
But the prince made no answer.

Shards

Im not the only one you love,
Im not the only one you miss,
Im not the only one you want,
Im not the only one you want to hold,
Im not the only one in your mind,
Im not the only one you care for,
Im not the only one anymore.