You're all I need

My clueless heart,
where were you when you found your place,
where were you when i needed solace and companion,
where were you when i needed a warm embrace of assurance,
where were you when you told me you'll be here.

My rebellious heart,
why do you always follow the wrong path,
why do you always lead me to misery,
why do you make me turn beetroot,
why do you like to see me faltering for something that cant be mine.

My failing heart,
how can you betray me like this,
how can you let me resort to this,
how can you make me feel all this when i dont wish to,
how could you have not been able to stop me.

Gazing through the skyline

Would it be spiteful of me to break something that is one back to two?

I want warm hugs forever

When I try to decipher everything people say, I over-analyse.I think too much.I view this world, this society as a place where no one speaks of the truth.Every single detail has to be read between the lines, to the point sometimes it fails me,tricks me,disappoints me.On the other hand, sometimes things that are meant to be said with deep feelings are expressed so carelessly, so nonchalantly, that they either lose the whole meaning, or you misunderstand, hence you react with unwanted unrequited emotions. Oh no, oh no. I have been fooled by my own feelings again.

Frivolous

GUESS WHAT, 19 MORE DAYS TO PRELIMS AND I HAVENT STARTED REVISING, GG.COM.SG!
Its time I think of going on a hiatus.... Sigh


These days, suddenly i just wish i had
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someone to call my own <=\

Memories

A soft tap and a turn, then we exchanged shy smiles, mumbling our greetings, awkwardly feeling pleased yet at the same time, i could feel my heart thumping wildly in my chest.Were you feeling the same too? You took me to where I lived, not to my doorstep, but close enough as we once again shared this awkward silence, should there be an embrace like i promised? or should i just wave my goodbye? My mind was in a whirl of thoughts, in the end it was all in vain because you swept me off my feet with your killer smile, leaving me dazed, trying to recall everything that happened.I tried to play hard to get, then I realised there is no point.Im playing a one man's game and there is no one to claim, so I decided to take a step up first, approaching as casual and normal as possible, deep down knowing that I wished for something more.

As days sauntered by, I swear my feelings for you were becoming stronger, were hard to be brashly be known as mere admiration.I knew better, but I still could not bring myself to let it out of my chest, for fear of the silent treatment awaits. I even tried to talk myself out of this crazy gamble called "Falling in Like",but what use was it now that I thought you were harbouring the same thoughts as I?

Alas, alas, never to trust your own thoughts, I tricked myself, losing my way out and in the process, causing severe heartache and misery to myself, wondering why did I do such a foolish thing, why did I even think I would ever succeed in this? Staggering back to my shell, I tore apart all the memories, the plans of what could have beens as I mended my heart back to how it was, only less fragile than before.If I ever see you in the streets, please smile that killer smile just once again,so I'll know that all this was never just a dream,but something I thought was more.

The end

Frenetic

Paranoia.

How do you stop yourself from thinking of the worst case scenario of everything?Sometimes I feel like I let my thoughts get the better of me too often, to the point I stress myself out ,worrying that things will never turn out right, or someone is out to embarrass me,make me feel like dirt,or that they secretly bitch about me behind my back and act nice when I'm around. I think im too tensed, how do all those chilled out people ever just say, "chill la, can you just calm down and stop worrying?" and not even care a shit about how whatever the outcomes of their lives would be like? Its too complexed a thing for me, although ironically, chilling out has nothing to do with it.

Society, these days, is so hard to catch up with.
Is it just a phase that I'm going through as I get older? Or is it just me being so paranoid and looking at everything in such a confusing way?Society makes me feel as though I'm trying to be someone else, and on top of that, someone who will never fit in and be well-liked by others for who i am. Just what the hell is "being yourself" like when each and everyone of us honestly dont really know? If you like a certain something and some really popular kid likes it too, they say you have no originality.And in the end, you cant express your like for something, just because they have already been favoured by others.Dont get me wrong, I know people would just reply " dont give a shit about them la ", but how can you not, when practically everyone in society wants to be liked and accepted? I think ignorance is a reasonable advice, but i dont think it works forever either.

Today I must be feeling cynical and more paranoid than ever huh. Sigh.