GUESS WHAT, 19 MORE DAYS TO PRELIMS AND I HAVENT STARTED REVISING, GG.COM.SG!
Its time I think of going on a hiatus.... Sigh
These days, suddenly i just wish i had
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someone to call my own <=\
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Memories
A soft tap and a turn, then we exchanged shy smiles, mumbling our greetings, awkwardly feeling pleased yet at the same time, i could feel my heart thumping wildly in my chest.Were you feeling the same too? You took me to where I lived, not to my doorstep, but close enough as we once again shared this awkward silence, should there be an embrace like i promised? or should i just wave my goodbye? My mind was in a whirl of thoughts, in the end it was all in vain because you swept me off my feet with your killer smile, leaving me dazed, trying to recall everything that happened.I tried to play hard to get, then I realised there is no point.Im playing a one man's game and there is no one to claim, so I decided to take a step up first, approaching as casual and normal as possible, deep down knowing that I wished for something more.
As days sauntered by, I swear my feelings for you were becoming stronger, were hard to be brashly be known as mere admiration.I knew better, but I still could not bring myself to let it out of my chest, for fear of the silent treatment awaits. I even tried to talk myself out of this crazy gamble called "Falling in Like",but what use was it now that I thought you were harbouring the same thoughts as I?
Alas, alas, never to trust your own thoughts, I tricked myself, losing my way out and in the process, causing severe heartache and misery to myself, wondering why did I do such a foolish thing, why did I even think I would ever succeed in this? Staggering back to my shell, I tore apart all the memories, the plans of what could have beens as I mended my heart back to how it was, only less fragile than before.If I ever see you in the streets, please smile that killer smile just once again,so I'll know that all this was never just a dream,but something I thought was more.
The end
As days sauntered by, I swear my feelings for you were becoming stronger, were hard to be brashly be known as mere admiration.I knew better, but I still could not bring myself to let it out of my chest, for fear of the silent treatment awaits. I even tried to talk myself out of this crazy gamble called "Falling in Like",but what use was it now that I thought you were harbouring the same thoughts as I?
Alas, alas, never to trust your own thoughts, I tricked myself, losing my way out and in the process, causing severe heartache and misery to myself, wondering why did I do such a foolish thing, why did I even think I would ever succeed in this? Staggering back to my shell, I tore apart all the memories, the plans of what could have beens as I mended my heart back to how it was, only less fragile than before.If I ever see you in the streets, please smile that killer smile just once again,so I'll know that all this was never just a dream,but something I thought was more.
The end
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Frenetic
Paranoia.
How do you stop yourself from thinking of the worst case scenario of everything?Sometimes I feel like I let my thoughts get the better of me too often, to the point I stress myself out ,worrying that things will never turn out right, or someone is out to embarrass me,make me feel like dirt,or that they secretly bitch about me behind my back and act nice when I'm around. I think im too tensed, how do all those chilled out people ever just say, "chill la, can you just calm down and stop worrying?" and not even care a shit about how whatever the outcomes of their lives would be like? Its too complexed a thing for me, although ironically, chilling out has nothing to do with it.
Society, these days, is so hard to catch up with.
Is it just a phase that I'm going through as I get older? Or is it just me being so paranoid and looking at everything in such a confusing way?Society makes me feel as though I'm trying to be someone else, and on top of that, someone who will never fit in and be well-liked by others for who i am. Just what the hell is "being yourself" like when each and everyone of us honestly dont really know? If you like a certain something and some really popular kid likes it too, they say you have no originality.And in the end, you cant express your like for something, just because they have already been favoured by others.Dont get me wrong, I know people would just reply " dont give a shit about them la ", but how can you not, when practically everyone in society wants to be liked and accepted? I think ignorance is a reasonable advice, but i dont think it works forever either.
Today I must be feeling cynical and more paranoid than ever huh. Sigh.
Society, these days, is so hard to catch up with.
Is it just a phase that I'm going through as I get older? Or is it just me being so paranoid and looking at everything in such a confusing way?Society makes me feel as though I'm trying to be someone else, and on top of that, someone who will never fit in and be well-liked by others for who i am. Just what the hell is "being yourself" like when each and everyone of us honestly dont really know? If you like a certain something and some really popular kid likes it too, they say you have no originality.And in the end, you cant express your like for something, just because they have already been favoured by others.Dont get me wrong, I know people would just reply " dont give a shit about them la ", but how can you not, when practically everyone in society wants to be liked and accepted? I think ignorance is a reasonable advice, but i dont think it works forever either.
Today I must be feeling cynical and more paranoid than ever huh. Sigh.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Talisman
I found out it's over i'm a fallen soldier
lost in all the madness
trampled by the last kiss
woke up with the first tear
watching as the smoke cleared
leave me where you found me
the world falling around me
wave goodbye watch it die i'll pretend i knew it
honestly i believed in and out and through it
stood untill the last day waiting for the life change
if the fight is over forget what i just told you
thought that we could pull through
but i already lost you
leave me where you found me
the world falling around me..
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Mango Bajitos
I woke up hearing the fucking machine drilling the ground opposite my house,getting pissed and tensed because I realised I had overslept and missed yet another Chemistry make up lesson. It was 9.45am. I went to the sofa to sleep because the mothership said the maid needs to vacuum. I dont know how I got to the sofa, but i did. I continued sleeping till I woke up to the annoying telephone ringing its electronic ass off, which happened to be my mom who told me to open the door. And it was 1.30pm. I woke up to my mom reprimanding me for sleeping so much, i got pissed but I gave her a blank face. I washed up. Went to Serangoon CC to study with Divya & Saritha, attempted to solve maths problems but I couldnt figure some out so I gave up. Drew Divya and her Mango Bajitos, laughed at something really hilarious. Walked over to Serangoon Mac, and this time, tried to write some sensible crap for my Oral practice. Turned out Divya and I started playing Guess The Sketch. Her drawing of her Father was epic. So was the Monkey Bar. We laughed so much I swear my face turned red. Everything was good. I could have bumped into Gabriel at Macs, turns out he saw me I didnt see him. On the way home apparently Scott saw me, only I didnt either. This was how I spent my tuesday. The end. Pictures coming soon.
Monday, June 8, 2009
intoxicate
I dont know why, but today I feel like typing out my gratitude to my friends.
Leave a comment if you want to be mentioned, but either way i appreciate all you guys!!!
So here goes...
First off,
Leave a comment if you want to be mentioned, but either way i appreciate all you guys!!!
So here goes...
First off,
Divya. Hey Mango Bajitos!
You're the first person I got to thank, and not for a few stuff, but basically for everything.From putting up with me being a cold shoulder bitch,being so grumpy and moody and angsty,enduring my nonsense and temper,to standing up for me and sticking with me throughout the hard times I had to go through.We were really close pals back in Sec 1 remember? Haha netball buddies,and then in sec 2 Praseedha came into the picture and we trio would always be the hooligans making the most noise during our training,fooling around.But those,I admit were one of the greatest, most enjoyable time of my life. Although during sec 2 we started to fall out, I knew during netball we were still like close pals, werent we? Besides the following year, we got closer again as friends and now, we're still sticking together through the end aite?Omg I also have to thank you for the muffins that you bought for me for my sweet 16( Although it wasnt really a sweet 16,hah)!! I hope we'll go to the same JC or Poly and continue our longliving friendship! Love you Bajitos^^ (virtual hugs)
You're the first person I got to thank, and not for a few stuff, but basically for everything.From putting up with me being a cold shoulder bitch,being so grumpy and moody and angsty,enduring my nonsense and temper,to standing up for me and sticking with me throughout the hard times I had to go through.We were really close pals back in Sec 1 remember? Haha netball buddies,and then in sec 2 Praseedha came into the picture and we trio would always be the hooligans making the most noise during our training,fooling around.But those,I admit were one of the greatest, most enjoyable time of my life. Although during sec 2 we started to fall out, I knew during netball we were still like close pals, werent we? Besides the following year, we got closer again as friends and now, we're still sticking together through the end aite?Omg I also have to thank you for the muffins that you bought for me for my sweet 16( Although it wasnt really a sweet 16,hah)!! I hope we'll go to the same JC or Poly and continue our longliving friendship! Love you Bajitos^^ (virtual hugs)
Peisi. Hello Pipi!!!
My sweet little sexy crazy galpal! Thank you for being my bestest friend for 2 and a half years! Although I cant say we are still the bestest friends since we dont hang often anymore, Im happy and proud to say we've been friends for 3 years and counting! How great is that,aite? Although at times you were irritating, I think i've been 10 times more of a pest to you so, thank you for having patience :) Im glad that although we've gone through much shit, sometimes bickering over small stuff and not talking,we still manage to talk things out and still are close.It would definitely have been better if we were still the trio hanging out together all the time, but i guess this is fate.So we cant change anything :/ I really really want to thank you, and I'll seriously miss you when we graduate, because I wouldnt be able to turn to grin like an idiot at you, i wouldnt be able to squeeze your skinny cold fingers,i wouldnt see that sweet pretty face in my class anymore :( So right now i really hope we'll still keep in touch, and meet up often ^^ I love you Pipi!!!!( virtual hugs )
Praseedha. Yo Gangsta'!
Heyheyheyyyyy, Prabra, my laughing partner during netball, always laughing your ass out because I talk too much crap, and complimenting me like an old granny, smiling like one somemore, lastly,not to forget, the smart polite studious girl who sat next to me for a period of time in sec 1. Haha!I used to find you irritating because you seemed like a geek, but dude, i love you for that now, you're perfect the way you are^^ I swear although I joke around like this, I will really miss you because I wouldnt have that intelligent bright gangsta sitting behind me in class,I wouldnt be able to have netball trainings with my GK partner anymore :( Haha omg, remember once, during sec 2 when i kept commenting over the top jokes about you in friendster? Then we had a quarrel and a cold war. Fun times, at least we still talk now HAHAHA!I hope you'll get into a great JC and make more new friends ,but we'll forever keep in touch. I love you Prabra!!!!! ( Virtual hugs )
Liying. Flowerball( I got that from your vid heh)
My sweet little sexy crazy galpal! Thank you for being my bestest friend for 2 and a half years! Although I cant say we are still the bestest friends since we dont hang often anymore, Im happy and proud to say we've been friends for 3 years and counting! How great is that,aite? Although at times you were irritating, I think i've been 10 times more of a pest to you so, thank you for having patience :) Im glad that although we've gone through much shit, sometimes bickering over small stuff and not talking,we still manage to talk things out and still are close.It would definitely have been better if we were still the trio hanging out together all the time, but i guess this is fate.So we cant change anything :/ I really really want to thank you, and I'll seriously miss you when we graduate, because I wouldnt be able to turn to grin like an idiot at you, i wouldnt be able to squeeze your skinny cold fingers,i wouldnt see that sweet pretty face in my class anymore :( So right now i really hope we'll still keep in touch, and meet up often ^^ I love you Pipi!!!!( virtual hugs )
Praseedha. Yo Gangsta'!
Heyheyheyyyyy, Prabra, my laughing partner during netball, always laughing your ass out because I talk too much crap, and complimenting me like an old granny, smiling like one somemore, lastly,not to forget, the smart polite studious girl who sat next to me for a period of time in sec 1. Haha!I used to find you irritating because you seemed like a geek, but dude, i love you for that now, you're perfect the way you are^^ I swear although I joke around like this, I will really miss you because I wouldnt have that intelligent bright gangsta sitting behind me in class,I wouldnt be able to have netball trainings with my GK partner anymore :( Haha omg, remember once, during sec 2 when i kept commenting over the top jokes about you in friendster? Then we had a quarrel and a cold war. Fun times, at least we still talk now HAHAHA!I hope you'll get into a great JC and make more new friends ,but we'll forever keep in touch. I love you Prabra!!!!! ( Virtual hugs )
Liying. Flowerball( I got that from your vid heh)
Gosh where to start. I remember when I was in sec 1, you and jan sat next to me in your class row during assemblies, and how Miss Aw always caught you two for your skirts.Then I remember us getting acquainted, asking me if Im korean and making small talk. Then in sec 2, for a point of time I started hanging out with you and some of your classmates haha because of..yknow who but yeah..shhhh!! You were always the loud and outgoing friendly girl, who was just rebellious sometimes. Haha when it came to sec 3, we guys started hanging out as a clique, remember? Everything was seriously so kept together and perfect...Then stuff happened.So I lost my trust and stuff, however i realised I dont have any grudges against you, its just I didnt want you to get influenced till you cant come back to the right path and I was angry that you didnt understand.In the end, everything is all cool now so we're alright arent we? ^^ I just wanted to say that although we're just mutual friends now, Im grateful for the happy memories we all shared and I hope we'll remain on a friendly basis! Thank you for being my friend, Liying! (Virtual Hugs)
Jan. You're the leopard stick right? Hahaha!
Basically the same as Liying, always very sweet and friendly, how we were all so thrilled and awed when you would be defiant to Miss Aw,talking back and stuff haha. Im sorry that our friendship went astray because of some unfateful event,you deciding to side the other person..However, im sure we're alright now right? I realised I was being immature for vehemently hating you liying and shuyi ,besides that would only make me more stressed and angered, and for no apparent reason!So yeah, I hope that even after we graduate, we'll still be able to bump into each other on the streets and still be able to smile back to each other and ask one another about our wellbeing. Also, thank you for the happy funny moments, the time during Halloween , for the joy you brought to my life , although it wasnt for a long period of time, I'll remember and be thankful to know someone like you ^^ (Virtual hug)
Jan. You're the leopard stick right? Hahaha!
Basically the same as Liying, always very sweet and friendly, how we were all so thrilled and awed when you would be defiant to Miss Aw,talking back and stuff haha. Im sorry that our friendship went astray because of some unfateful event,you deciding to side the other person..However, im sure we're alright now right? I realised I was being immature for vehemently hating you liying and shuyi ,besides that would only make me more stressed and angered, and for no apparent reason!So yeah, I hope that even after we graduate, we'll still be able to bump into each other on the streets and still be able to smile back to each other and ask one another about our wellbeing. Also, thank you for the happy funny moments, the time during Halloween , for the joy you brought to my life , although it wasnt for a long period of time, I'll remember and be thankful to know someone like you ^^ (Virtual hug)
Sylvia.CUTIEPIE^^V
Although We had a small quarrel last year, im really glad you were the mature one and understood me and we both clarified things. If you hadnt, i think my life would be extremely boring because I wouldnt have someone as bubbly and chirpy as you! PLEASE COME TO SCHOOL OFTEN FROM NOW ON!!!!So at least I can see you more often and you should start fattening up, you're getting skinnier and skinnier and its not good :( Thank you for being a reliable friend and for listening to my problems too. Haha and one day you should come to my house to study again and video call jepthah!!!!HAHAHAH k sorry jepthah. I hope we'll keep in contact and lets go out more often please hunnybun! (virtual hugs)
Surprise surprise, to Shuyi.
Although We had a small quarrel last year, im really glad you were the mature one and understood me and we both clarified things. If you hadnt, i think my life would be extremely boring because I wouldnt have someone as bubbly and chirpy as you! PLEASE COME TO SCHOOL OFTEN FROM NOW ON!!!!So at least I can see you more often and you should start fattening up, you're getting skinnier and skinnier and its not good :( Thank you for being a reliable friend and for listening to my problems too. Haha and one day you should come to my house to study again and video call jepthah!!!!HAHAHAH k sorry jepthah. I hope we'll keep in contact and lets go out more often please hunnybun! (virtual hugs)
Surprise surprise, to Shuyi.
Actually I think I should thank you the most, going through so much stuff together and ending our friendship in a bad way, I still learnt alot, from you, from the incident, from the people around us. Whenever I think back about the times when we would always stick together, going out together, Me going over to your house and playing dress up, remember the time when you had a new webcam and we made stupid videos of us singing? Those sure were good times, how you'd tell me about your love problems, and i'd tell you mine.And two years back, when we were both nursing our broken hearts, im just sorry that I couldnt have comforted and consoled you in a better way, myself going through the same thing. But now that you have finally gotten a steady boyfriend, and we arent really considered bestfriends or even friends anymore, I hope you are truthfully happy with who you have in your life right now. Im thankful for all those happy times we shared ,along with peisi, we were like the three musketeers, never apart and always sticking with each other.Haha during our sec 3 camp, remember you and peisi were superstitious and did all those messy slipper arrangement and knocking the door,and we trio got so scared that we bathed together. Really gay but yeah and you fell from the bathtub and we kept laughing!We even shared the bed together as bestfriends with peisi..We were such bestfriends, whatever happened? Sometimes I feel like crying when I think about how things arent gonna be like that anymore, but this is life, friends come and go. I really want to thank you for making the 3 years of my secondary school life a really memoirable one, and sorry things wont be the same anymore. All the more, I just hope to God you will make the right decisions and make the right choices, dont let your parents down anymore shuyi....Alright? <=] Stay happy and dont do things you'll regret anymore! (virtual hug)
To my new friend, Khairi Minogue/Khairipuff/Khaiya/Khairi!
Hahaha since you are staying up till now and you're a new interesting friend,
heres one for you. Thank you for being the cheerful boy who listened to me yakking online,
and also lets be friends for as long as we can!!!! ^^ And yes, one day we'll meet up soon, with shane and the rest :D (virtual hug)
The end!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Brokenheart
I want to drown myself ,engross myself into something so much so that i'll never remember.
I'll forget the pain, i'll forget that shot through my heart.Then slowly but surely, i'll never remember you, i wouldnt know how you ever came into my life.And then left after stabbing me....
Today is the kind of day when I wish i could keep running back and forth from my old house to serangoon till I exhaust myself out.
I'll forget the pain, i'll forget that shot through my heart.Then slowly but surely, i'll never remember you, i wouldnt know how you ever came into my life.And then left after stabbing me....
Today is the kind of day when I wish i could keep running back and forth from my old house to serangoon till I exhaust myself out.
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