Only 4 months have passed & I am already fervently wishing it would end ASAP.Perhaps this is because Im too much of a perfectionist, I have countless regrets within a short period of time, I hate so vehemently, and I give up easily, but whatever 2009 had in store for me for the 4 months has worn me down.
I like new beginnings, it means you get another chance, you start afresh on a new chapter of life, you are armed with more knowledge of what to be cautious of due to previous mishaps.Yeah, its pretty easy to tell yourself," Alright, lets start all over again. This time I wont do this/that..etc" and go back to the start, but life isnt some computer game, where you can restart at your own will if you lose or use up your chances.Even if you wanted to, even if you wanted to start anew and come back with a total different self, nobody would really understand or support you because they'll think you're just trying to be someone you're not/trying too hard.But what do people know?
What do they know about you?Do they even know the real you?Isn't one of life's purpose to find one's true self?I dont even know the true me, I dont know if whatever Im saying now makes much sense to anyone out there,sometimes I dont even understand myself,why I am so rash/cold,I forget my reasons for it,I lose all my purpose in my actions and feelings,everything.I lose everything.
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